Wedding

Our Wedding Day was Not the Best Day of My Life

Have you ever read a wedding blog {e.g., Style Me Pretty or Grey Likes Weddings} post when the bride didn’t claim her big day to be the greatest day of her life? We’ve been married over two months now, and I still read wedding blogs pretty regularly. Gorgeous images. Sweet love stories. The problem is, I actually thought something was wrong with me because our wedding day wasn’t the best day of my life. Is everyone else telling the truth, or are they fluffing it up because they spent so much money on one day? If I had to honestly write about details from our wedding day, it would go something like this:

The morning…

Woke up at 6 am because I can’t sleep without E in the bed. My best friend/bridesmaid woke up then too because she’s a mom and was dealing with the time change. We chatted for a few hours, which was great, but I’m sure we both would have preferred a couple extra hours of sleep to get us through the day. Realized I got drunk at the oh-so-fun rehearsal dinner and ordered a $20 movie (The Great Gatsby) from the hotel, but fell asleep after the first five minutes. Awesome. I also realized that the night before I had put Kiehl’s chapstick on my wound (from jabbing a pairing knife through my hand) because I thought that would heal the area where I pulled my stitches out the day before. Spend entirely too much money on breakfast in bed that was not very delicious. Go to take a shower. Get distracted by the illuminated magnified mirror in the bathroom and decide that I’m qualified to give myself a facial (note: I’ve paid a professional to keep my face in tip-top shape for the past 12 months). Step back from the mirror to find a blotchy mess. Hope my makeup artist is up for the challenge. Quickly shower and race to meet my mom and sister in the lobby. Since The Houstonian set us up with a complimentary room for the wedding night, I had to carry all of my belongings (wedding dress included) to the front desk for them to hold. Our room wasn’t ready. Since an NBA player was getting married there on the same night, our upgrade upon availability leaves us no upgrade. Everyone else’s rooms are ready early. I decide I’ll leave my things in a bridesmaid’s room (and immediately regret it because I have one of those deep-down feelings that I we will get split up and I won’t have my things to get ready).

Getting ready…

Race over to get our hair done while upset about not getting upgraded to the suite. I love my hair. But a rude comment slips about my sister’s hair (it.was.POUFY.) and I feel bad for the next hour. My mom and I have talked for three weeks about what to order for lunch (we were bringing it in to the salon). I wanted gluten free pasta from Maggiano’s, but she thought that would be too heavy. We decide on a caprese salad (with chicken for the meat eaters). Everyone else’s hair is finished at least thirty minutes before mine, and I can tell everyone is ready to eat. Feel bad again. I finally make it to the food, and Maggiano’s messed up our order- it’s not a caprese salad (the only type of salad I can eat). Nobody seems to care that the bride can’t eat lunch. Instead the room gets silent and awkward and I want to cry. Why didn’t I spend the night in my beautiful new home and have a hair and makeup artist come to me? My sister jumps into action and runs next door to Maggiano’s to get me some food. I stuff it in, still wanting to cry, pay my bill, and off we go to the Galleria. We valet at Neiman’s and walk up to the Chanel counter where I’ve confirmed all of our appointments three times. One makeup artist decided to go to lunch, so my mom stays back and waits. Feel bad again. Girl doesn’t come back from lunch…continue to feel bad for my mom. Look over to see my sweet friend turned into a pole dancer with a bit too much eyeliner. Feel bad again. Finally, my mom gets a makeup artist. I feel makeup going on my eyebrows and want to ask her to stop, but I don’t. I wanted natural natural natural makeup, and it’s not looking that way. For some reason, I think fake eyelashes will be a good idea. Immediately regret decision because I can’t hold my eyes open with them glued on. Feels so incredibly weird and fake. On goes the lipstick. I hate it. I actually speak up this time, but I have eight women saying, “no, go with the color palette” or some nonsense like that. Hate it. Buy it. Get back to the hotel and wait in lobby for BM (to get my dress from her room). Wait. Wait. Wait. We must have missed her. Decide to go to my room and take a bath. It’s 4:20 and I’m supposed to meet E for our first look at 4:30. Get a text from BM “you can come get your dress now.” Call wedding coordinator (I’m pretty sure her entire pay check was worth this one task) to pick up wedding gown and deliver to my room. Then I get a text “gave your things to your mom.” Now I’m about to hyperventilate. Large hotel. I have no idea what room numbers people are in. And I have five minutes to get ready. My things some how get delivered. I text my mom and sister that I would like them to come and help me get in my dress. I also call a few times and nobody answers. Wait. Wait. Wait. Contemplate getting in my dress alone, but know it will be a challenge one handed. Want to cry. Now it’s late and I’m paying our photographers to do nothing. I sit down to write E’s letter. Phone starts ringing and it startles me. My “Love” gets scribbled across the card. I unplug the phone. It keeps ringing. I keep unplugging until it finally stops. Finally, my mom and sister open the door. I was on the concierge floor (meaning you need a special key), so they got that key, and they some how obtained a room key. I would have been mad at The Houstonian, but I was happy to see them. My mom wants to hang out and drink champagne. I want to use the photographers that I’m paying. They get me dressed and we go down to a conference room reserved for us to get ready in.

Photos…

We go outside to have our first look. Can’t wait to see my groom. Whoa. It.is.SO.hot. E’s tux is too small, and I feel so bad for him having to wear a too-small, wool tux, outside, at the end of August, in Houston. We stay outside for an hour taking photos of us. E makes me laugh, so we have about 700 photos of me making a hyena face. We take a few photos with the wedding party, and then it’s time to get in the limo. The A/C in the limo doesn’t work, and I’ve just spent 1.5 hours in 98 degree weather. Oh yeah, and my dress was a bug trap, so I’ve got roaches and all kinds of things crawling up my tulle skirt. The bride’s room is hot as well. I take off my dress and sweat some more. I finally decide to put my dress back on, and in comes Father Victor. Thank goodness he didn’t come in a minute earlier!

The ceremony…

My mom and stepdad walk me down the aisle. I thought I’d be much more calm, but I’m overtaken with feelings of joy. My dad not being there never crossed my mind, which was good – and surprising. I see E and I’m excited. The ceremony was very personal because we spent so much time with our priest prior to the ceremony. It was also a bit awkward because we only had a handful of practicing Catholics in attendance. If you know anything about Catholics, then you know they change things often. Only a few people could participate because nobody else knew what was going on (despite the programs that were a HUGE stress for my mom and I). We had to kneel for long periods of time, and my entire body was SCREAMING at me in pain. Arthritis doesn’t go away on your wedding day. I hadn’t had any water in hours, and that caprese salad had worn off hours ago. All I wanted was a chair and food.

Photos…

We take more family photos. One of the highlights of my night was getting to see Mia (our flower girl). She calms me down and makes me happy like no human can. But photos were rushed because the ceremony ended at 8 pm and we lost light.

Reception…

I read so many articles that stressed the need for a couple to be alone after the ceremony and “let it all sink in.” We were taken to a room where appetizers and drinks were waiting for us. Let me be the first to tell you that your MARRIAGE does not “sink in” in the maybe twenty minutes of alone time during your cocktail hour. It didn’t last long, but I wish we had spent that time to mingle with our guests (even with 35 guests, I felt like I didn’t get to have a conversation with anyone). When my food came, it was a piece of Sea bass with a vanilla cream sauce on top. Yum. Dessert fish. When I asked the server what happened to the dish I ordered, my mom got mad and told me nobody would notice. Felt bad again. Felt bad for not being thankful for the meal they had so graciously paid for. Felt bad for all the guests who ordered the fish because I told them it would be amazing (it was supposed to have a grapefruit salad on top that made the dish). You already know the cake was terrible. The DJ was awesome, but I felt like this by 10 pm…

dancing - 0202Happy. And utterly exhausted.

A lot of brides report getting the post-wedding blues when their big day is over. Not me! I was so incredibly happy it was over! Our honeymoon was absolute bliss. And every day I am so elated to be E’s wife. Our wedding day wasn’t the greatest day of my life, but every day since has been: I’m married to my favorite person in the whole world. We bring out the best in each other, and as the photos show, he constantly makes me laugh and brightens all of my days.

My advice to future brides: take care of yourself during your engagement. Eat well, sleep well, exercise, get spa treatments. And most of all, don’t aim for perfection. Not every detail has to have some symbolic meaning from your relationship. The flowers don’t need to be perfect. The table will probably be set differently than you imagined in your head. It’s okay. A beautiful marriage is the goal. Not a perfect wedding.

xoxo,

Christie

{image via paper antler photography}

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13 thoughts on “Our Wedding Day was Not the Best Day of My Life

  1. Yes! I read that far…because in a tiny way, it helped me to justify all the crummy things that I had to deal with on our wedding day! Ours was more of the people-being-mean-and-selfish crap, so we spent a lot of time ignoring and avoiding people. grr. Way to be honest!! I’m glad to hear your honeymoon was wonderful! (I was still really hurt, so I had a hard time relaxing on ours) So happy you and E have each other – and thank goodness that day has passed, right? Just post the pretty ones so we can oogle!! 😉 xoxo

    • so glad it helped! i think there’s a lot of people-being-mean-and-selfish crap when weddings are involved, which is such a shame. but it sounds like we’re both doing just fine without a perfect wedding day!

  2. Yes, I read that far as well. I honestly think that my jaw was open 90% of the time. I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cringe. The thing that got me the most was the broken AC on the limo – I hope y’all didn’t pay full price (or at all!!!). Sasha would have been all over negotiating that. I asked him last night after I finished reading if it was the best day of his life, and he said, “Best? Probably not.” Ha. Glad that you still enjoyed the day and the honeymoon. I cannot wait to go on ours (26 day countdown!).

  3. AMEN! There is way too much pressure to have this happy, joyful, carefree feeling of bliss all day long that it makes it nearly impossible. It’s like someone telling you to “relax” when you’re feeling stressed, or to “calm down” when you’re getting upset. I will say, that I enjoyed the Sea Bass 🙂 and the evening..despite being one of the non-practicing Catholics that had NO idea what to do. haha!

    • well said. so true! and i’m glad you enjoyed the fish! hahah- but you were in the back, so you blended in. did you catch a glimpse of our wedding crasher? she was sitting in the back on E’s side. the photographers caught her in some photos, and then she disappeared after we walked down the aisle at the end of the ceremony. which is kind of great because we watch wedding crashers on repeat over here.

  4. girl, i loved loved LOVED this post. what a refreshingly real and honest approach to your wedding day. i loved my wedding day, but it included an epic breakdown during the middle of me getting my hair done because my father changed our honeymoon tickets (which he bought as a gift) to us leaving at 5am the next morning, meaning we would miss the day-after brunch we had meticulously planned. and i think it’s a universal truth that the bride never gets to eat at her wedding. i downed a piece of cake because it was all i got. your pictures look amazing though, and you could have fooled me that it wasn’t the best day of your life 🙂

    • thank you! i debated writing it for obvious reasons, but so many ladies have thanked me for it. i’m not sure why it has to be “the best day” of your life. wouldn’t that be sad if you were married for 50 years, and fifty years ago was the best day of your life? i always have an odd perspective! that’s so sad about your brunch! i would have stayed. but i’m sure you were ready for that honeymoon!

  5. Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU for writing this post! I’m so glad I don’t feel like the only bride out there who’s wedding day wasn’t the best day of her life. I absolutely loved this post! And I agree with the other commenter who said they didn’t know whether to laugh or cringe!

  6. I loved reading your post! I hope you can look back and laugh a little, it was very entertaining. I totally agree that the best days have been the married days- I love being married to my best friend 🙂

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